Good Heart: Blessing and Curse

  • Posted by: Altreneasha Ashley

This quote spoke volumes to me. I’m that person who suck it up and says “I’m sorry” EVEN if I did nothing wrong.

My heart has been a blessing and a curse. I always seem to care a little bit too much about other people(I’ve told you all this before, lol).

When I don’t see eye to eye with my family & friends my heart won’t allow me to hold a grudge. I always find myself reaching out to them eventually. Why do I do it you may ask?! Well, I think that’s just how God made me AND from experience I know it’s not what actually happened but how people perceive what’s happened that matters most.

However, I get tired of always being the bigger person and reaching out or trying to make amends. I’d love to not care and not act on my feelings, but to do that means I’m not being my true self. One of my goals when making decisions is being true to me, so I’ve come up with a way to acknowledge the situation and leaving the ball in the other persons court.

For example, I’ll speak my peace (via text) and let them know I’m available to talk if/when they would like to and go far enough to say what days I’m available, lol. You may say this is petty but this is just enough to see if you mean as much to them as they did to you.

Message: You can’t have a relationship by yourself so if they take you up on your offer to talk about it, cool. If not, live your life without them. Cherish the memories you share and keep on keeping on. Oh yea, ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOU!!!!!

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Altreneasha Ashley
Author: Altreneasha Ashley

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3 Comments

  • Tina

    I sometimes feel the same way BUT if nobody ever makes a move how can you move forward? Being the bigger person is admirable and as long as you make the effort to speak your peace and let them know you’re available to talk, you’ve done your part. Confrontation is just so awkward lol

  • j.antwonette

    Well written Ash. I’ve used 2012 as a time for me to mend broken relationships with family and friends; mostly family. It took me 5 years to realize the importance of healing and dealing. Before I approached that person, I had to prepare myself. One of the first things I did was ask for my forgiveness.

    “Father God, I don’t know how I contributed to the demise of this relationship, but I ask that you forgive me and help me to understand what I do not know.”

    After I did that I forgave them.

    “I forgive ______ for what they do not know. I pray that they use you and none other as guide and ear through their trial.”

    As simple as that sounds, it was very difficult to say it loud and be genuine. I practice this at home, on the streets and Lord knows I’ve had to use it in the workplace.

    Once I grasped the fact that not everyone thinks and reacts alike, this person might be dealing with their own demons as we all are and that this is not something that will make or break me, my stress level went down a lot.

    Before I was ready to approach, and Tina this applies to your comment, I made sure that I understood the level of love when compared to the level of frustration. I laughed because I then knew how much time the devil spends trying to use us against ourselves. If you have as much love as you say you do for a person, then this situation should not be defined as a confrontation, unless that’s what you intend to do. This should be a private conversation. Confrontations are draining, especially when they are public. Then it becomes gossip which is harder to forgive than you think.

    Besides that, I had to remember to enter and leave the conversation without using a pride/personality calculator. “Yes, this person did apologize. No, this person didn’t apologize. I can’t believe…how dare…they can’t be serious…”… I had to be open to opinion and closed to judgement.

    In the end, I left it to God. I left everything to Him. If it is His will, then it is His way. I did not judge. I let God do his thing. Some were epic failures, but my relationship with my mom is slowly improving and I’m happy.

    All this that I’ve written were actual statements between myself and others. I made sure I included them in my conversations with God. It’s less stressful and and the outcome was only granted by God himself. He knows when you have fully done your part because He will give you an answer. And with that answer Ash, I doubt he will add stress.

    Love you and praying for you

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